Friday 20 May 2016

The Wheel's Come Off

This phrase is largely banned in forward-thinking, go-ahead, positive-vibe organisations. It reflects a sense of looming or arrived disaster that  can have a detrimental impact on team morale. If your wheel actually does come off, then try not to make a fuss, radiate extreme confidence that the wheel can be put back on. Hopefully no-one will notice and even if they do, your reassuring demeanour  will be infectious.

Traction

This word is used to describe whether anyone is taking any notice of a shiny new idea or concept in the office. 'Traction' can be combined with 'buy-in' for a double word score in Dilbert Scrabble.  Traction means static friction such as the amount of grip a tyre has on a surface. It is best to keep tyres inflated to the recommended pressure and to check for a decent tread depth before heading out. In warm weather, tyres are full of hot air, much like many executives.

Thursday 19 May 2016

Socialise

"Socialise" in Corporate-land means showing people a report you have prepared, ahead of a big meeting. You do this in the hope that by sucking up to them, they will support your recommendations (or at least stay awake until that agenda item). Other sorts of socialising are frankly more sociable. For example having breakfast with your colleagues at the beach.