Let'sTouch Base Offline

Corporate twaddle-speak for arranging a good old gossip away from the prying ears that are currently listening. Usually it's not clear where the 'base' is so such arrangements are often unsuccessful. Meanwhile in the real World... if you start at 'base', protocol normally demands that you climb higher. NEVER do it 'offline' because the line is the safety feature that prevents you falling back snakes and ladders style. 

Ideas Shower

Scientists say that when we are in the shower and relaxed our body produces more dopamine, a neuro-transmitter. This helps us to turn our minds inwards and make insightful connections. So jumping into a hot tub in a hail shower is the absolute best, proven, certified way to really get ahead in the ideas arena. It's best done on work time.

Forward Planning

Is there any other kind of preparedness? "Forward Planning" is an excellent example of using two words when one would be fine. Backwards Planning is only useful if you have a time machine. In the picture we see the tools of a good planning session, one that could go on well into the small hours and achieve top-notch plans: The Scotch and Genepi can be substituted for alternative strong stimulants. The 'forward' part of the planning will involve a spare bottle or two in case supplies run low.

Ducks In A Row

Getting your ducks in a row is corporate twaddle for organising things well. If you've ever tried to line up waterfowl, you'll know that they are rarely obliging in any activities that require neat arrangement of their persons. The reality is that ducks prefer to clump themselves together and have no pre-disposition to linear positioning. They are easily distracted and have very small brains - you'll never get them in any sort of row.

High Altitude View

This approach is considered superior to silo-ed thinking. The rarefied air leads to new ways of using cerebal resources, mostly due to oxygen depletion. The high altitude means you'll need to boil eggs for a lot longer and your Victoria Sponge definitely will droop in the middle. This twaddle phrase is less maneuverable than the helicopter view, you really will need to use paths and possibly crampons, as opposed to the freedom that the crow enjoys when it flies. 

Strategic Staircase

Office-speak for a bit of a plan for the future: It's all about not moving on but moving up. A staircase isn't generally that strategic but it is useful for getting to the top without climbing over your colleagues. Some 'strategic' staircases can be quite wobbly and leave you feeling suspended in mid-air. They are even less reliable when your colleague stands at the other end jumping up and down as you cross it. 

Helicopter View

Getting a 'helicopter view' is management twaddle for stepping back from an issue or problem and seeing the whole picture. However, a helicopter view of your office is best enjoyed from an actual helicopter. If it's flying in formation at the time, that's even better.